paterelohim | IC contact: Sirenspull

[He has a fear of abandonment, ok? A JUSTIFIED fear.]

Um.

[His mouth quirks, part amusement, part nervous laughter.]

I don't think so. But. Consider the source?

I...

...say it. Just don't hold my reaction against me. I'm pretty fragile right now.

As you pointed out. Few handle grief well. How many has he actually grieved?

Who... [His confused expression turns disbelieving, and almost offended.] Lucifer? I-

[Loss for words. It doesn't happen often, so take pictures.]

-At what point do you still have the right to rub your ~grief~ in other people's faces? When you've killed- killed a thousand? A million? Gunned for your own brothers?

That question it probably not best asked to someone like me.

[Someone with millions of bodies to his name, someone who helped slaughter his family.]

I'm not saying he should have been sobbing on your shoulder, Chuck.

You have more social skills than he does. You're not an obnoxious prick.

[Yes, this is the same guy who was doing the "but he only hurts me when he's mad" routine a few months ago. And who has ~~and showed you~~ video of Michael and Lucifer soused on Halloween.]

Because I like you enough to make the effort.

[Just. Throwing that out there.]

Dude. Lucifer showed up at the hospital to harass Gabriel the day Jinx went in.

[Do you not understand that he doesn't make an effort for anybody. And when he does it's still horrible.]

Gabriel told me. Slightly different version of things though.

Chuck. He's not nice. I know that. You don't have to convince me.

Don't tell me you actually think the angels are an unbiased source about him.

[Just. Stare.]

I don't get your point here. I mean... no offense, but I know him a lot better than you do.

I don't think anyone is.

[S I G H]

I'm saying this: He trusted you enough to drink with you. Aslan he's fond of. He was grieving a friend and was an utter jackass about it apparently. I'm just wondering why you, since you know him a lot better than I do, weren't expecting that?

[Really, he's confused here.]

A friend? Are you kidding?

[Now he's just pissed, and raising his voice enough for the cat to say fuck it, and leave.]

It's his fault Aslan's dead! This wouldn't have happened if it weren't for him! What right does he have, you know? Contrary to popular belief, I'm not contractually obligated to park my ass and listen to his shit all day.

I wasn't saying you were Chuck.

[By comparison Magneto's has only gotten softer, flatter. He's withdrawing being that's simply how he refuses to handle things.]

Yes, it's his fault. No, it wouldn't have happened. I'm well aware of what he did, as my face shows.

So you know he got Aslan killed because he couldn't pull his head out of his ass long enough to have one unselfish thought. Or, no- even just not have a selfish one.

Chuck I very nearly got a friend killed barely over seven months ago for that reason. We were both in the ICU for quite a while.

[Flatly.]

[That stops him in his tracks. It's always a little disturbing to remember exactly who Erik really is. One of the boogeymen of nerd-dom, someone he used to talk about with his friends during their X-Men phase, a specter of not-exactly-evil but never really a reality. In some ways he still isn't entirely real to Chuck: his friend Erik, the man Michael, seems at times so divorced from the concept of Magneto that even after all this time, he still forgets more often than not. Even if he never forgets the simple fact of who Erik is, he rarely remembers what it means.

It's a hard connection to make. Once upon a time, it was hard for him to connect the Devil as his son, too, but that phase passed quickly. Chuck doesn't want to let himself be jaded again.]

Do you learn? When you fuck up and shit hits the fan because of it, do you actually learn something?

[It's an honest question, because Lucifer doesn't. Ever.]

[He laughs, a soft, fractured sound, nerves and emotion swamping, and a stubborn, dig heels in and HOLD need to not crack for the weight of the question. ]

Sometimes. It's not always what most would want me to learn. And holding onto any strides I make in a different direction...it's a constant fight. It feels wrong. It's not, I am aware of that. But it feels like I'm ignoring every instinct I have. It's not my nature.

[Chuck nods; it's a decent answer. Self-aware and honest, and he can respect that.]

Well... what exactly do you think your nature is?

[It's an extremely rare thing, that self awareness. Normally he's blind to his own nature.]

Isn't that obvious? Chuck. It's not magnetism I play with, it's electromagnetism. One of the four fundimental forces that make everything be. Gravity sticks us to things - and I can use my powers to effect it. Weak nuclear force, strong nuclear force - at some point they and electromagnetism bleed into each other. Everything else? Guess what makes it be? Electromagnetism is the order to the choas in the universe.

This funidmental force of nature. And it's not a power I have. It's what I am.

[...And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why He didn't create humans with superpowers. It's even more why he taught the angels to control themselves so unhealthily. This kind of a-god-am-I from anybody, including Himself and other Gods, gives Chuck such screaming heebie-jeebies that He just sort of wants to hide in a blanket fort.]

Okay. [Trying not to use his talking-to-crazy voice, and succeeding very well at it, actually.] That's a superpower. It's a hell of a superpower, but it doesn't change what you are. You're still a person.

I'm still a person, yes. I'm not still human. That is a really big difference and I don't mean in the way most who actually know who I am think of when they think of me. My granddaughter is human. I don't think any less of her than I did - do - Wanda's sons. She's my granddaughter, I love her, I will do anything for her. Anything. I don't mean it as an insult.

But does it change who I am? Chuck, if I lose my temper? I mean truly lose my temper? The least that would happen is an earthquake that would level this city completely. The worst? This island would blow apart. There wouldn't even be a crater left. I cannot ever completely let my guard fully down. I'm terrified to fall asleep with anyone laying in bed with me, because I might accidentally kill them if I have a bad dream. I've told you what it's like, to have to learn to not look through walls, to give people privacy. Yes, it very much changes who I am. Completely.

...At what point it is even responsible for you to still be this strong when you have the ability to cap it?

The last person to have their baseline power capped, rather than learn to control it, was Jean.

You have heard of Dark Phoenix, yes?

[In the rare honest moments? He's even afraid of the power Omega level Mutants have.]

So I learn what I can do - so that I don't accidentally do it.

[He's heard of it, yeah. Not in too much depth, but enough to know that Erik really has a point.]

That sounds awful. Having to constantly live on the alert.

Ororo and I used to discuss it, I'm old, muscle aches are to be expected. Ororo was not - and she was often just as tense as I was. It's. I'm older now, more powerful. And I have to be so very careful. The poles move naturally, did you know? The Earth wobbles a bit.

[He takes up a fork, morphing it into a small hollow black ball - the Earth's core - and a thin net bubbled over it made with the finest silver threads and the poles staked with needle-like spindles, a flexible red metal thread attached, showing how the Earth spins on it's axis, and the faint wobble - and why. The core spinning at a different speed than the mantle and crust.]

And the poles move as a result. I could speed it up or retard it. Neither are actually good for the planet. It's not just being on alert, it's being in control, all the time. Never being able to really let go. And I can't on the planet, or even inside the orbit of moon or I could knock that off too.

I wouldn't clip my DNA to change it - and I could, I know how to, in theory, although it might take a few tries to get it right - because I'm the one to teach others to accept themselves, and I can't do that if I'm reworking my own genetic code. And our DNA is...we're called Mutants for a reason - our DNA mutates. It probably wouldn't work and then I'm caught off guard.

No one can afford that.

IC contact: Sirenspull

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ROFL. This tag after he spent the night with Mags after Kevin died.

killing things, yes. and the sarcastic prayer. touching. B|

Killing things kept him from going at SERO, tbh.

well yes. but that's the future from dis thread B|

yes but it's amusing

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